Step 1. (Optional) Scream at God. If an Atheist, scream louder; if not wanting to incur wraith, then don’t
Step 2. Holler like a monkey. If people look, call them eggplants individually
Step 3. Tape paper to your arms and flap like a bird. However, you must make sound that is not a noise of a bird.
Step 4. Hide
Step 5. Chuck an object at a passerby, but call them George.
Step 6. Hide again, but longer.
Step 7. Relax.
Step 8. Get a friend to join, or a SO if you have one.
Step 9. Hum a tune. If it has words then slap your knee.
Step 10. Scream in rhythm, then abruptly stop when you’re no longer feeling relaxed.
Step 11. Hide more. Deeper and cozier
Step 12. Succumb to the Darkness, either that or sleep. Buddy or SO is optional at this point.
- If they leave, say to them: See you later, Salami hater.
Step 13. Cry (Optional), Eat food, and then FINALLY pass out.
Step 14. (Optional) Die abruptly.
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