I'm attracted to the idea of being held, of being loved, of being part of someone's life that they don't want to let go of.
I'm attracted to the smile that lights up that person's face when they see me, to the rough and soft texture of their hand against my cheek, to the way their laugh fills an entire room with the amount of love they have for everyone in it.
I'm attracted to the sharing of secrets and stories, to the understanding how another human works, to the way someone can know me better than I know myself.
Saying goodbye is repulsive.
Being refused a connection with someone you've held and worshipped for months on end is repulsive.
Crying into a piece of cloth with our initials on it until it's too wet to do any good is repulsive.
I hope for the crying to bring catharsis. But I also hope the pain doesn't end, because I'm afraid that I could stop loving a person. That idea is the most repulsive thing of all.
"Grief is the price we pay for love." Queen Elizabeth II said that.
It's also the title of this piece.
-Trishelle
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